Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
