He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
