I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize