WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
