i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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