Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
