I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
