I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
