Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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