Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize