people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
