My pussy is not your playground.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
