is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize