Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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