Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Boobs speak an international language.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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