dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
