Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
