Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
