Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
