have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
