This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
