1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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