i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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