just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
