Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
