just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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