I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
