I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she looked like the before picture.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
