every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How external is "for external use only"?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
