I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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