Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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