im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
