Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I supernannyed him into submission
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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