if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize