I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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