the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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