Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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