Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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