needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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