Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize