Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
