I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
