so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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