kristin has been a bad kristin
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
