Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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