I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
