real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
