it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
