I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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