a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
That's intense
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize