ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
