Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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