I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
