we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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