But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
