My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
