Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
