Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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