When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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