So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
