In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Im part way to drunk.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
