i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
