its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
