please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
