good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
