I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
