she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize