I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
