thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
