quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
